The 21st century may go down on record as the time period when senior citizens had the most to worry about and perhaps the least amount of free time to do so.
This year is not quite half over and just consider what we senior worrywarts have had on the buffet line selection of things to worry about.
Perhaps at the bottom of the list of things to worry about was the proposed senior version of television’s American Idol by Idol’s Simon Cowell where we seniors could vote for the equivalent of either the singing group Vitamin Z and the Food Supplements, Ed McMahon singing Foreclosure Blues or Al Gore playing I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas on his solar-powered electric organ.
Don’t worry. It’s still on the editing/cutting room floor next to a revival tour by Elvis.
Then, of course, there’s been the question of just what to eat. Let’s see. Mad cow beef is still hoofing around. Onions from Mexico were off limits for awhile only to burp back.
And, even if I could eat an all-beef double cheese melt-in-your-mouth half-pound burger with my cholesterol level nearing this year’s Dow Jones average, I couldn’t find a “legal” and disease-free tomato slice anywhere to add to it.
And, some seniors question what is really in some of those fast-food items that we consume? Do those food handlers (with permits, of course) really wash their hands?
And from the store, were those editable items marked “Keep Refrigerated” really kept refrigerated while being transported in our 100-degree temperatures? Maybe just left to deteriorate on pallets in the afternoon sun on concrete delivery docks? Who knows?
And corn! Don’t those common-sense deprived elected “visitors” to Washington know that corn is supposed to be eaten–not put into your gas tank?
With no affordable fuel in our future, and with my arthritis the way it is, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to ride my bicycle to the post office (going postal?) to make my tax payments or to even pick up those “Past Due” notices from my commercial friends.
And, we Texans do worry about our governor. Boy, do we worry!
Certainly the Texas governor has his hands full. Without fuel to run the turbines in Austin there will probably be a shortage of electric power to “light up” the Governor’s mansion … at least using conventional illumination.
And, with an electricity shortage looming, it’s also likely that hair dryers will be on the “Do Not Use” list. That has to be worrisome for the Texas governor.
And, we worry about why the Texas governor would even consider adopting hundreds of young children from a West Texas religious group.
While in Paris a couple of weeks ago the governor was asked a question by an Associated Press reporter about the governor’s authorization for the state to effectively “adopt” those children only to shortly thereafter send them back to their desert compound.
The governor responded by saying “If you are going to conduct yourself that way, we are going to prosecute you. If you don’t want to be prosecuted for those activities, then maybe Texas is not the place you need to consider calling home.”
Many wonder if the governor was actually addressing Texas Democrats?
Political accountability? Do we even have time anymore to worry about that?
We senior citizens especially need to make the time before we’re run-over politically.
And, of course we also can’t forget those “big ticket” items to worry about … even with our limited 24-hour days.
Let’s see. There’s the war.
Make that, the “wars!”
And, annual cost of living increases. There’s the government’s definition … and then there’s reality for the rest of us. Before we know it, vodka may become cheaper by the gallon than either milk or gasoline!
Don’t forget to worry about Barrack versus Hillary versus John versus “none of the above.” But don’t spend too much time worrying about their preachers, spouses or former spouses or their NBA preferences.
There is relief from our current worrisome present. It comes happily from our senior citizen’s past … Mad magazine.
Mad magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman perhaps said it best when he first uttered the words “What, me worry?”
© Submitted by Bob Grafe for publication on June 19, 2008.